A Rant In May

Hello, hello.

Last time, I said I hope that the next time I write, it’ll be about something better.

Not too sure if that’ll be the case, but here goes nothing….

Honestly, nothing much has happened since last time. I just remembered I had a blog, and my brain went, “You should update that.” Not that there’s many reading this, but I guess it will just give me good piece of mind.

I’m still working my “nine to five” because I’m broke. Everything blurs together. The world around me makes me not want to be a part of it. I haven’t written anything consistent or passionately in probably quite a few months. And, I don’t even know if I’ll ever get back into writing long-term.

I used to be about screenplays and playscripts – putting into words what would make a great scene. Like, all of the details and little aesthetics. I love building up stories like that. But, I paused writing things like that at the beginning of the year – unintentionally and subconsciously – and I just haven’t gotten back into it. It’s a terrible writer’s block, I guess, and it won’t go away. I can write small snippets every now and again, but it never adds up and never sticks. And, after a piece is written, I forget about it almost instantly.

When it’s not memorable, it’s beginning to die.

I think I just don’t want to write something I deeply love, and let it sit and collect dust, which is my ultimate fear. So, that alone stops me from continuing, because I get stuck on the notion of “what is the point.”

I really do want to change that way of thinking. But I’m not sure when that will be; for the past week or so, I’ve been trying to bring works-in-progress with me wherever I go, in case I get a few seconds to scribble in them. That’s an alright first step. But, so far, nothing sticks.

Anyways, that about sums up my life in a sob story, at least for a while.

Most likely, I’ll forget to write for a long while, because that always seems to be the case. This used to be a short story blog, and now it’s just for rants that don’t make much sense.

I apologize.

Until the next post, whenever and whatever that may be, peace.

QM